Umbrella Logic

    As much as we would like every day to a perfect little ray of sunshine: They aren’t. There is a natural phenomenon in the world known as weather. It rains, it snows, the wind blows, it gets wet, it gets cold, and we still have to get out in it. Life has to keep going.

    As an outdoorsman I don’t exactly mind a little weather, but I am not the only person living in the world. There are all kinds of people with all kinds of stories and all kinds of different ways of seeing things. One of the best examples of this is how they deal with rain. There are Umbrella people and then there are the rest of us.

What is an Umbrella

    At some point in time somebody got tired of standing in the rain and wanted to make something that would keep them dry without having to wear a whole suit of rain gear. I’m not sure how many different versions they came up with before they decided on the one, we know now as an umbrella but that’s the one they picked. 

    Umbrella - a device consisting of a circular canopy of cloth on a folding metal frame supported by a central rod, used as protection against rain or sometimes sun.

   When you don’t need it, the umbrella pulls into a thin rod that can be stored or carried easily. Sounds like a wonderful idea. It must be because everybody knows what an umbrella is and how to use them.

   What I didn’t know was that the first ones popped up around 4,000 years ago but were mostly used for sun protection. They went out of fashion when hats became popular. I’m just a man and I have no idea what kind of hats people were using to replace umbrellas to block the sun and I don’t really want to know. Fashion is not something I’m interested in. Staying dry outdoors when it’s raining is.

   Instead of blocking the sun, someone decided that an umbrella could be used to keep you dry when it was raining. I guess the hats could have done the same thing but who am I to question history and sound logic?

   If you have ever used an umbrella, you know how well they work. They keep you nice and dry in the rain.  Especially some of the dome shaped ones that are made now. As long as it's not too windy the umbrella will keep the rain off of you. 

    You can walk through the middle of a storm and stay all cozy . . . until you get inside.

    Then you realize that while the top of you is dry and protected the bottom part of you is drenched. Your pants look like you took a shower with them on. That’s when the design flaw becomes apparent. You got tricked.

     The whole time you were walking casually in the rain and thinking you were staying dry you were getting soaking wet. It only kept the part of you dry that would recognize it was getting wet and have a problem with it: Your Head, more importantly, your brain.

    What really confuses me is that every single person that uses an umbrella knows this is going to happen. It will only protect half of them at best, but they continue to use it. They don't get out the waterproof pants or anything else. They just accept that it's how things are and it's what happens. All they know is that when it rains you use an umbrella.

     The people that don’t use umbrellas are the ones who actually have to stay in the weather no matter what it is going to do. People who work outdoors wear rainsuits. They are completely protected from the elements. When it looks like rain is coming or they KNOW they will be in it: They put on their rain gear. Are they smarter than the umbrella people? Maybe or it might just be a different way of looking at things

    They do stay completely dry, and the umbrella community only stays half dry at best.

Now you see it.

     The umbrella gives you a sense of staying dry by keeping your head dry: WHEN YOU ARE IN THE RAIN. When you get inside and are completely out of the rain you realize how it was only half as effective as you wanted it to be. What I am really blown away by is that for some reason people continue to use them and think they will be dry under it.

    It’s not a secret that I don't exactly agree with the reasoning of most people. If it’s raining, I usually just put on my jacket and head out. I know I’ll get wet; it just doesn’t really bother me most of the time. If it’s cold outside I wear rain gear. I have never been so cold and wet that I thought it would be better if I could just keep my head dry. I either want to be completely dry or it doesn’t bother me. I guess I’m just different but most of the way I see things comes from an outdoors perspective. If I go out in the boat, I know I’ll probably get wet at some point, if it’s cold I wear waterproof clothing or quick drying. I plan ahead or I tough it out.

    I can’t quite get my head around the thinking process of the umbrella logic. It doesn’t stop there either. The logic is happening in all kinds of places. The logic is that all I have to do is convince myself that it's working, and it is. There are Rube Goldberg solutions to simple problems all around us. 

SHHHHH (Government)

   I’m quite certain a lot of people probably think My way is a little crazy. I walk through the rain in a jacket and sunglasses. The shades keep the rain out of my eyes. I knew it was raining before I got out in it and I wore all I planned on needing. I don’t run to the door: I walk just like I would if it wasn’t raining but to me it’s just rain. If it’s that bad I don’t go out unless I have to. Then it’s either the jacket and sunglasses or full rain gear.

   In my head it kind of works out like this:

    If you went to the doctor what would you rather hear?

  • It’s not that bad and will clear up by itself in no time.
  • We can take care of that 100% and you don’t have anything to worry about
  • We can fix half of it but there isn’t anything we can do for the rest.

The first example is my water-resistant jacket and shades, the second is rain gear, the third is an umbrella.

  See there is a method to my madness. It might not look like it all the time but it’s there. I just don’t see things the way others do all the time.

    Make no mistake I am not perfect. I make mistakes all the time. I’m not making fun of anyone who uses an umbrella. I was just trying to understand their way of seeing it by telling them how I see it. I’m perfectly fine with people using umbrellas if it works for them. They just don’t work for me. God made me tough enough to not mind the rain and smart enough to stay completely dry in it too, or to just stay out of it. 

    It might have something to do with the way I see rain. I don’t see rainy days as BAD. I like rainy days, sometimes. It always seemed like God's way of telling me to take a break. 

   “Slow down Benjamin, your head hasn’t stopped working for weeks and you forgot to go fishing. Here's a quiet rainy day to help you rest and catch up. Breath and remember how small you really are in the grand scheme of things.”

     Rain isn’t something I run from but look forward to. Snow too. I dress for the temp not the precipitation in that too. Sunglasses included

  I would love to hear how the umbrella people of the world view their stance on umbrellas and my all or nothing approach to rain. I don’t approach everything like this though. When it comes to fishing, I will do whatever works at the time. If I wasn’t catching anything and I thought, it would catch a fish I would attach an umbrella to a lure in a heartbeat. That’s not a joke. I am completely serious. I usually try to keep it simple with fishing and most things.

   People with a gist after their name might read something more into my umbrella theory than is really there. I’m not exactly complicated though. If you want to know something: ask. If you don’t understand it, I’ll be happy to explain it. I will ask about what I don’t understand. I will accept other answers that differ from mine on most things. Some I won’t. Some things are just wrong. No exceptions. 

    Most things are easy if we let it be. The KISS method does work most of the time.


     Sometimes it’s better to smile, explain, and accept another way of looking at things than to argue about who is right. Usually, things do work out if we let it and stay away from the ones who only want to cause problems. I don’t understand them at all, and I am grateful for it. 

    I really would love to hear how the umbrella logic people view it. 

Live by Faith. Love the Outdoors. Life is Out HERE!

written by Benajmin Evans